Had a rough weekend. Completely missed posting Sat. 16 crochet365. Had something chosen just ...needed to sleep.
Which is depressive code for hide away, ignore life and wait till it all goes away.
It finally settled down and and went away enough so I could post (share, whatever) on Sun.
Jan 16 theme/prompt was "kids". Never had them. Can't anymore, so never will. I can only assume that it's for the best. Wouldn't be fair to any poor tyke.
#crochet365 - Day 16 - kids
From an old online challenge, I think. I remember that "Family" was the topic.
Designed to evoke memories of preschool aged crayon etchings. Or at least look like one. Kid art. Check.
And those rightmost stick figures represent my brother and I in our early elementary years. Kid figures. Check.
Lots of cats, dogs, space, air and love. Overall, pretty easy, nostalgic, warm and fluffy thoughts. And twofer.
Sun 17 was harder:
#crochet365 - Day 17 - my precious - ?????
I couldn't get past Gollum and gold rings. Wasn't up to whipping up a LOTR piece.
So I had to scramble.
Proof of Crazy hat?
...and then I thought of my beautiful babies, Calvin and Hobbes.
Both gone by 2006. Sickness and pain. Watched them go slowly.
My little Hobbie. Tried so hard to force her to stay. Horrible tube feeding sessions. Terrible rash from diarrhea. Miserable discomfort. I had to stop. Had to let her go. Found her ...still, not breathing before had the chance to give her comfort.
Made myself pay penance for that. The paw print tattoo on the back of my shoulder. Hurt. Burned. Used same painkilling greasy cream on my scab until it detached and fell off.
Calvin was different. Saw him stop eating waste away Calvin. Vet let me have him one last weekend to say goodbye.
Too thin to hold without hurting him. But he came to me one night and I helped him up onto the bed next to me. He slept next to my heart.
That was the night before he didn't have to suffer anymore.
I failed them both. They suffered. Hobbie worse than Calvin, but they shouldn't have had to at all.
Didn't pay my pound of flesh for Calvin until much later. 2011. Diabetes, fatty liver cirrhosis, hysterectomy. Serves me right.
I failed my precious kitties. Like I failed my Mother before them. And my Father since.
Serves me right.